3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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