I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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