She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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