We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
