he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
