sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
