She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
