good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
