Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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