so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
