No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
