yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
