The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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