in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
