I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
