Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she pinky promised me she was 18
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
