It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
