Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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