I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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