Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
