I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
