Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
