Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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