Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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