the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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