If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
