Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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