I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
