wakey wakey hands off snakey
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
