What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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