I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Randomize
