put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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