Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
