is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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