Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
