i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I could fuck to npr.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
