Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
