my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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