Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
