My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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