so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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