Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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