pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize