he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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