Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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