just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I wear drunk well.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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