So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
