last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
ugly people sure do ruin things
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
