we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
