Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
