I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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