shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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