He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
