you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
