he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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