you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
vagina is talking i cant
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
