We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
