i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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