Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
