like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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