Welp...herpes.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize