I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
