I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
