Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
