Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
