A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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