What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
