i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
