We're facebook friends in real life
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
