If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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