her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
