Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
