Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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