I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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