Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
