I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
