This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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