Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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