I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
