Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
