I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize