Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
